


greatest victory

by padsandprongs



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, Fluff, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Oblivious James Potter, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-01
Updated: 2021-02-01
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:01:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29127636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/padsandprongs/pseuds/padsandprongs
Summary: “Do you hate me, Lily?” Silence follows immediately after, and he’s sure she's out cold. He can feel her steady breath, but then she shifts a bit and makes a soft noise of acknowledgement.“Not even a bit,” she mumbles sleepily, and James hopes she can’t hear how loud his heartbeat gets.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marlene McKinnon/Dorcas Meadowes, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 2
Kudos: 48





	greatest victory

5th Year, 1975

James takes a long gulp of his butterbeer, feeling it warm his cold body from the inside. His skin is still heating up from the earlier quidditch match, which he and Sirius played outside in the relentless rain. The water and wind made for a rather difficult game, but Gryffindor managed to pull through and triumph over Ravenclaw. It was about an hour ago the two players entered the bustling common room, which was alive with excitement over the win.

He’s sandwiched between Marlene and Sirius now, who are both nothing if not properly drunk. They keep leaning over James to speak some nonsense to one another, and Remus cracks a joke about them sharing a brain cell. Sirius retaliates by chucking the wrapper from his chocolate frog in Remus’ general direction, but due to his inebriated state he ends up missing terribly. Marlene cackles- and the sheer ridiculousness of the sound she emits makes the rest of the table follow suit. Sitting in the plush chairs amongst all the celebration brings a grin to James' face. 

Dorcas approaches, sliding between James to slip under her girlfriend’s arm. (It might just be that James has a knack for being “oblivious,” but apparently Dorcas and Marlene have been dating for quite some time now. James can’t tell exactly how long considering he just figured out the day prior.) It’s after Marlene presses a kiss to the flushed skin of Dorcas’ cheek that she asks “Has anyone seen Lily around?”

The inquiry is met with shrugs and good natured echoes of “no, why?” 

The two girls look at each other before turning back to the waiting gaze of everyone else. 

“No reason, she’s just been a little gloomy lately and we were wondering if she ended up stopping by.” Marlene flashes her gaze to James, looking the slightest bit disapproving. 

This confuses him, because what the hell does he have to do with Evans being upset? She hardly pays him any mind, and on the days she does it’s usually by persistent effort on his part. She doesn’t quite hate him as of recently (score), but is mostly indifferent and seemingly unamused by even his grandest gestures. He’s woken up 45 minutes early on a Monday to actually tame his hair, only to be met with the driest of recognition from Lily. (“Wow Potter, never thought I’d see the day you discover a hairbrush.”)

Marlene averts her gaze, and Dorcas continues “She looked bored out of her mind at the match, which is weird, because usually she’s staring at-”

“Dorcas, quit while you’re ahead.” Marlene cuts her off, gently nudging her side with her elbow. 

“Right- anyways, point was, we were hoping for her to turn up. Get out of her head for a little and have a bit of fun.”  
Everyone nods, and that’s that. They assume Lily will turn up, because why wouldn’t she? Eventually she’ll get bored of reading or drawing or writing, or whatever it is she does to busy herself up in the confines of the girl’s dormitories. 

The topic shifts when Remus mentions that he has a joint on him, which piques the interest of the entire group (but mostly Sirius, who has somehow gotten to the other side of the table and is now hanging off of Moony.) However, Marlene is snuggled into Dorcas’ side and informs everyone that she will not be moving under any circumstances. 

That’s how James, Sirius, and Remus end up slipping outside. The rain seems to have cleared up, but the air now holds an uncomfortable chill. James pulls the collar of his jacket closer, stuffing his hands into his pockets. 

“Fucking hell it’s freezing.” Sirius repeats on loop, which earns him an annoyed swat from Remus. Said swat does nothing to silence Sirius, so eventually he just puts his arm around him. Remus pulls him a bit closer because “he’s sick of hearing him whine.” James reckons that might be a bit of a lie, and that maybe he just wants to be near Sirius. He doesn’t think that much on it, and instead just watches fondly. 

“Since it’s so cold, we should probably just go into the greenhouse.” James suggests, watching his breath puff out in front of his face. He mentions it as a means to remedy the incessant complaints from Sirius, but is also starting to think that those are partially for the sake of having an excuse to snuggle Remus. Usually he’s not the most observant- but it’s almost impossible not to pick up on with Sirius’ inhibitions lowered.

They end up on the floor of the greenhouse. Remus lights the joint for Sirius with a simple “incendio”, because Sirius’ fine motor skills are too slow- no doubt due to the copious amounts of alcohol. 

They pass the blunt around a bit, and talk about the usual things one talks about when high. 

“Do you think dogs dream? I dream, does that count?”

“Being sexually attracted to David Bowie isn’t, like, inherently gay- right?”

“Are pickles just tangy cucumbers, or do they, y’know, grow from a pickle tree?”

The three of them go on like that for a while, unaware of just how progressively weird their questions have become. It fades into comfortable silence for a bit, and James relaxes into it. 

When he’s high, it’s like he has zero ability to recount anything stressful or sad. His worry over Sirius and his shit family disappears, as does his constant fear that he’s not doing enough to help Remus. All he can think of is the feeling of flying on his broom, and the smell of his Mom’s breakfast in the morning, and the late nights the three of them spend after successful pranks, and that specific shade of red that belongs to Lily Evan’s hair.

The silence he’s sitting in is broken when Remus and Sirius start whispering amongst themselves, laying down and facing one another. Apparently they’re high enough to have forgotten about James' presence- or they’re just in love enough, but he’s willing to bet it’s a bit of both.

It almost feels intrusive to sit still while they share such an intimate moment, likely forgetful or unaware of the fact that their friend is a mere three feet away. That’s what brings James to quietly rise up from his spot on the ground. He’s purposefully slow in exiting the greenhouse, so as not to disturb whatever it is going on between his two friends. He casts a glance over his shoulder as he slips out the door, and feels himself smiling at the sight of them so happy and carefree. 

He almost forgets how cold it is outside when he exits the warmth, and feels glad he actually remembered his jacket when they left the common room. With no options but return to the bustling party or wander outside, he decides to enjoy the quiet a moment longer. 

James scuffs up some dirt with his shoe and rounds the outside of the greenhouse, stopping abruptly when he hears something. 

It’s a sniffle, and for a moment he worries that Sirius or Remus or the both of them are crying. But it’s not coming from inside, and it sounds like it’s coming from a girl. 

Tentatively, James steps forwards and turns the corner to find Lily Evans, softly hiccuping to herself. She’s alone on a bench that’s out by the garden. Her vibrant red hair is hanging around her face, down past her hunched shoulders. Her bright green eyes look uncharacteristically dull, and tracks of tears are falling down from them.

He automatically begins to panic, because this isn’t just some girl who’s upset. It’s Lily, and she looks so small and tired and so un-Lily-like. It’s so different from the fiery way she usually presents herself. He taps his foot anxiously and wonders what the hell he can do, and it almost feels more hopeless than when she’s cursing him out, or telling him to get lost. He’s likely the last person she wants to see this. 

“I can hear you, Potter.”

Shit. Too late for that. 

“I-I’m sorry. I wasn’t snooping or anything, I was just out here with Rem and Sirius and overheard you and you sounded upset so I figured-”

“Calm down. I’m not mad.”

He stops at that.

“You’re not?” he asks with an incredulous tone. 

“No, actually. Why don’t you come sit?” she says while she wipes under her eyes with the sleeve of her jumper. 

James watches her, and attempts to process the fact that she’s inviting conversation with him. He can hardly keep up, and wonders for a moment if this is all some kind of elaborate prank. He doesn’t have time to get too far with that train of thought, as Lily pats beside herself on the bench and prompts him to take a seat. 

Being so close to her is so new, and renders him useless at forming words. He casts a look at her hurriedly before shifting his gaze back down to his feet. He feels so useless and thinks frantically of what to say.

“I’m sorry you’re upset, Lily. Marlene and Dorcas, they were worried about you.”

She hums in acknowledgement, fishing around in her pocket to pull out a cigarette and a zippo lighter, which he’s seen Remus use before. She places the stick between her teeth and goes to light it. The warm glow from the flame lights her face, and even when tear stained James is once again struck by how beautiful she is- how beautiful she’s become. Maybe it’s that that prompts him to speak again. 

“I was worried about you too.”

He swears he sees the smallest upturn of her lips, and thinks he must be dreaming. She swings her legs then, exhaling after a particularly long drag before looking over to meet his eyes. 

“Y’know, I’m a bit shocked to see you out here. Figured you’d be busy.”

“Busy doing what?”

She seems to hesitate for a moment before speaking again.

“I can imagine everyone wants to see you after your big win. And I’ve just heard that you are kinda sorta snogging Emmeline Vance. I assumed you’d be off with her.” She almost stumbles over her words, and it seems so suddenly odd of Lily Evans to give a single shit about what he has going on in his life.

“Oh yeah- I mean, Sirius and the rest of that lot are definitely a handful. But no.”

“No what?” she responds.

“No, I’m not snogging Emmeline Vance.” 

“You’re not?” she asks, and her shoulders sag at his response. Her investment is so out of place and unusual to James, and he’s still half wondering if she’s under the influence of some potion or spell. 

“No, absolutely not. Bloody hell, who told you that?”

“Oh, Emmeline did.”

It takes James off guard, but he can’t help but let out a full body laugh at the fact that Emmeline Vance is going around telling girls that they’ve snogged. He tries to catch his breath but just laughs harder, and it’s infectious enough that Lily joins in. Her shoulders are shaking with it, and she leans forward as she giggles. 

She ends up bumping into his shoulder, but is either too tired or too careless to move her head from there. The last of her chuckles die out and she still doesn’t shift, so James’ immediate response is to still his entire body and hope she falls asleep like that. She sighs and turns her face. 

James has no idea how much time passes, but her breathing evens out and he’s not too sure if she’s asleep or not. He’s not even confident in whether or not he’s awake, because feeling the weight of Lily so close to him is something he’s only ever experienced in dreams. 

He speaks so soft that he’s not even sure he can hear it.

“Do you hate me, Lily?” Silence follows immediately after, and he’s sure she's out cold. He can feel her steady breath, but then she shifts a bit and makes a soft noise of acknowledgement. 

“Not even a bit,” she mumbles sleepily, and James hopes she can’t hear how loud his heartbeat gets.

7th Year, 1977

They’re dating now, and he still doesn’t believe it sometimes. He’s just won another match, but now as soon as he steps off the field she gives him a hug so warm that he almost can’t feel how cold he is.

As per usual, they return to the bustle of the common room. People are celebrating and dancing to whatever record is on at the moment, but James can hardly focus because Lily is being particularly touchy feely and his stomach still knots nervously as though it’s something new. Remus and Sirius come back from the crowd, spent and sprawled out together on the worn couch. 

Lily and James look at them fondly. It’s only 8:00 when she tugs on his sleeve, saying she’s tired and that she wants him to walk with her up to bed. He’s never been in any position to argue, and holds her hand as they head towards the portrait hole.

She falls onto the mattress, tugging him along with her and settling comfortably into the space between his shoulder and neck that she always likes to rest on. He lays there contentedly, listening to her soft breathing and the muted chatter outside. 

It’s sometime later that Marlene busts in, rambling about how everyone is looking for him and wondering why in the world he’s not out there celebrating his greatest victory. 

He pulls Lily closer and smiles, knowing that winning her over probably wins that title over any quidditch match.


End file.
